Cuizinier (France)

Originally posted on Fat Planet.



of all the misshapen genres in the ether, ‘eurocrunk’ never fails to raise a smile. as with the much-maligned ‘trip hop’ tag, it’s a media-construct; designed to crack some square pegs into round holes. it’s true worth is proven by the fact that, with the exception of sweden’s stacs of stamina and max peezay, the only band the term really applies to is french four-piece ttc.

ttc (tido berman, teki latex and cuizinier – and dj orgasmic who was seemingly left out of the anacronym) joined the ninja tune offshoot big dada for their debut release ‘ceci n’est pas un disque’, but truly upped the ante with the follow up, ‘batards sensibles’ – produced largely by the institubes collective of para one and tacteel.

last year, cuizi hogged the limelight with his first mixtape ‘pour les filles’ where he crooned and freestyled his way over tracks by lenny kravitz, marilyn manson, ciara and the knife. as hilarious as it was inventive, it stands as one of last year’s essential mixtape purchases.

cuizi is without doubt a 21st century crooner and ladies man – lying in the austin powers gutter, staring at the serge gainsbourg stars. apparently though, his shtick is working – as the growing number of cuizi-groupies will testify (they even have their own myspace page,, although i suspect this might also be a cuizi construct…). there is however a very public voice of dissent – female mc yel has already lauded cuizi with first ‘response’ track; he’s now immortalised in her release ‘short dick cuizi’. if you’re wondering what cuizi did to piss yel off, check out this post from la decadanse with full translated lyrics.

for the newly released ‘pour les filles volume two’, cuizi drops a very different set of tributes – grabbing tracks from modeselektor and ghislain poirer in equal measures to tina turner and the abysmal ‘take my breath away’ by berlin. whilst the humour of the latter isn’t totally lost, it remains totally unlistenable. maybe it’s just the vomit rising from the thought of tom cruise and his clammy, warm jets.